Top 10 Things Your Girlfriend Will Never Say To You:

1.  I just don't feel comfortable having sex unless the camcorder is on.

2.  Let's rent a porn movie, get drunk, and have my friend Lindsay come over.

3.  It's getting late, shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?

4.  50% off shoe sale?  I don't have time, I have to run out and get your beer for the game tonight.

5.  I love to swallow every drop, it tastes just like vanilla.

6.  I know it is a lot tighter back there, but will you try it again anyway?

7.  Honey, would you mind if I put my cheerleader uniform on over this lingerie you just bought me?

8.  I liked all the housekeepers we interviewed today, but I think we should hire the one with the big tits.

9.  I forgive you for sleeping with my sister.  You're right, she does look just like me in that blue outfit.  It was an honest mistake.

10.  My parents just said we're allowed to have sex while we do our homework.